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Grief Gimmick

by Kathleen Dreems

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1.
Awake 02:16
I am full of bad moves Things that you've already done, linger on me what I may become. All my screws are bent loose and I'm just trying to stay awake to hear the awful noises mornings make. And I might bite right through the skin Straight through to the bone Just to bear my hands reminder that our creation goes unknown and you might feign some insight privy to my grief but what you learn from me is fleeting just as levity is brief. I am full of relief, when this headache kills the pain echoing inside me sleet and rain. I'm waiting for the day when I'll be first to leave and then you'll have to choose what to call this other than abuse. I'll make all this easier, right there to the point as the sin of company's fading with these lines I will anoint my head to my failures my nose to my sleeve I keep saying one more night but I'm just waiting to be told to leave. all good things are brief.
2.
I can only feel it like a chemical imbalance in my head, in my head I can only touch it if it’s sad or if it’s lustrous dragging me to sleep with eyes like lead and when I dream I think that I’m with you, and when I sleep I am love’s lucky fool and here I am repeating what I’ve said before he is just a ghost and nothing more I have no excuses but my lack of talent tries me to obey, what you say and if I flinch surrounding you it’s not because I want to go away, I’d rather stay when I dream id rather be awake to hear the awful noises morning’s make and if I am repeating what I’ve done before I hope this time it stick before you’re out the door if I close my eyes too much it’s just the weight that tethers me to fear yes to fear I’ve been lonely way too much to hope that you might be staying here, please stay here

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released December 8, 2014

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Kathleen Dreems Los Angeles, California

lonesome driver

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